| Dear Louise by Louise Hay Dear Louise, Last summer, my husband of 14 years declared that he didn't care for me, and he moved out. He had been cold, indifferent and distant to me in our marriage -- and we didn't spend much time together. He said that I always told him what to do and he had to separate from me to protect his personal integrity. For my part, I was lonely in our union from the beginning, yet I thought that because we had a family (two young children), I would stick by him out of loyalty. I now feel lonely, betrayed and rejected. I have been going to a divorce support group at a local church where all the women complain about how controlling and manipulative their ex-spouses were. I feel that there's something wrong with me, because obviously I'm the one who is needy, demanding, controlling and manipulative. Please help. -- B.F., Raleigh, N.C. Dear B.F., Many women feel this way when they're confronted with divorce. We usually think there's something wrong with us, but that is just a thought and has nothing to do with the reality of our lives. You're a wonderful woman doing the best you can. It sounds to me that this is an opportunity for you to create a new life for yourself -- one that will be quite fulfilling for you. Your marriage certainly wasn't. So stop wasting time berating yourself. What you need to do now is say a lot of positive affirmations on a daily basis: "I am a self-confident woman. I am beautiful and everybody loves me. I am a great mother, and my children love and adore me. A new life is opening for me with lots of fun, new adventures. I am learning to love myself, and it feels good." Anything that is a negative in your life needs to be turned into a positive affirmation. You can create a wonderful new life for yourself. Now go ahead and do it. Start with affirmations. Do them day and night. Dear Louise, I had my daughter 25 years ago at the age of 19. I did the best to raise her as a single parent. Since then, I have been in relationships, as well as a marriage that went sour, but I did not conceive again. Now I'm 44 years old, in love with a man who simply adores me, and guess what -- I'm pregnant! I'm still in shock and do not know where to begin. I have some questions: Despite the high risk for women over 35, what could I do to have a healthy baby? Where do I begin to instill high self-esteem and love in my child? Can you give me some affirmations for pregnancy, parenting, and prosperity? My reason for the prosperity request is because when I raised my first child, I was bombarded with money myths and issues. I guess I have so many fears to work through that I feel a bit overwhelmed. Thank you for your love and support. -- D.D., Bangor, Maine Dear D.D., How wonderful that you're having a baby now when you're loved and adored! Don't listen to high-risk nonsense. We're talking about you, not statistics. Affirm: "I am a big, strong healthy woman, and I have a healthy baby." Say to this yourself over and over. You teach your child self-esteem and love by feeling these things for yourself. The baby will mirror what she sees in you. So do lots of mirror work. Look in the mirror and say: "I love you, I really love you." It really works magic. Also affirm: "I am a naturally loving mother. I have an easy pregnancy and a quick delivery. Prosperity is my divine right. Everything I need comes to me at the right time. All is well in my world." Dear Louise, I've accomplished many positive things in my life within the last 10 years. I've had enough courage to leave a job that I wasn't happy doing, to finish graduate school, to quit smoking, to lose weight, and obtain employment in a field that I love. However, in spite of all of this, I have a goiter (a growth in the thyroid gland, located at the base of the neck), type 2 diabetes, and a fibroid tumor. I am 45 years old and I haven't had a date or a boyfriend for 19 years. Even though I go to church and attend classes, I haven't come close to understanding what is behind the dis-eases that have appeared. Can you provide any insights and suggestions on the experiences that I'm having? Thank you. -- P.B., Evansville, Ind. Dear P.B., You've done so much wonderful work on yourself, and that's great. Now do one more thing for yourself: Take a course in nutrition. Or, go to a good nutritionist and get your diet straightened out. The things you mention usually are a result of poor eating habits. Get white flour and sugar out of your diet -- even one month without them will make a big difference. You can do it. If you don't know how to find a nutritionist, go to your local health food store, They will recommend someone to you. It's time for you to get your health back. I use this affirmation all the time: "I am strong and healthy, and I love life!" Write to Louise Hay at: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92108-5100 or e-mail your letter to admin@hayhouse.com Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the best-selling author of 27 books, including You Can Heal Your Life, Empowering Women and Letters to Louise. For a free catalog of books, audios, videos and other products by Louise Hay and other Hay House authors -- and/or to receive a free premier issue of The Louise Hay Newsletter -- call 1 (800) 654-5126 or fax 1 (800) 650-5115. Please visit the Hay House website at hayhouse.com. Copyright 2001 Hay House |
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