| Fear, Fat & Healing by Jinjer Stanton In a world where 5-year-old girls fear being fat more than dying, fat is one of the most powerful spiritual challenges we face as individuals and as a society. Even skinny people have issues around fat. Some have a profound fear of becoming fat. It isn't the fat itself, but the beliefs about fat and the repercussions of those beliefs for living, breathing humans that cause the damage. Fat has come to be seen as a moral issue, right up there with smoking and murder. Thin people are seen as automatically superior to fat people. But I can't recall any biblical references to the evils of fat (and I was steeped in biblical mythology from my first breath). Nor have I seen anything in any other spiritual tradition that suggests that fat people are less worthy than thin people. Seeing fat as a moral issue engenders a sickening downward spiral. People judge themselves according to how much fat cushions their bones. If they see themselves as not measuring up (or down) to the ideal weight, a common reaction is to eat for comfort, which leads to more weight...and you can see where this is going. Even a slight softening around the belly and hips can lead to feelings of deep shame and failure -- which leads, of course, to more eating (thus making food seem to be the enemy). The world reinforces these judgments in many ways -- from nasty comments in passing to concerned questioning of food choices. We can't force society to change its attitudes, but we can change our own and by doing so, we begin to heal the world at large. Pleasingly plump Other cultures find fat beautiful. This includes the relatively recent cultural past of this our country. As recently as the early '70s, my aunt described some women as "pleasingly plump" and chirped out, "so round, so firm, so fully packed," when describing others. And she sincerely meant it as a compliment. She herself was a plump little dumpling. Into this world are born beautiful souls housed in bodies. Each soul unique. Each soul perfect. Each soul hungering to connect with others on a profound level. And each body is a perfect vehicle for the soul's journey. Somehow the message comes to every one of us: You are not good enough. This one is stupid, that one too intellectual. This one too loud, that one too shy. This one too skinny, that one too fat.... And sometimes the messages all pile up on a single soul. Some will weather the storm of judgment, shrugging it off like so much snow. Others will own all the labels that come their way without seeing that the label applied might actually be a good thing. Being "sensitive" in a macho family might be scorned. But in the larger world it may lead to wisdom and compassion. In the same way, a child that is louder than the parents think appropriate could grow up to be a leader or entertainer, or both, like Jesse Ventura. We fear not measuring up; therefore we listen so we'll know how we ought to be. And each will fashion fate from the labels he or she either owns or discards. Sometimes the labels taken on for one "flaw" will get translated into more eating for comfort which provides yet another reason for not feeling good enough. Your unique beauty So there are four major challenges for the individual trying to heal the issues around fat -- whether they themselves are fat or thin. First, to unearth the messages that originally led to belief in our own basic deficiency, debunk those messages, and replace them with beliefs that celebrate the unique beauty of one's true self. This is vital to being successful with any of the other challenges. Second, to find ways to live in the world that nourish body and soul and do not deprive one of enjoyment. This means more than simply learning different ways of eating and relating to food. We must also feed all the other aspects of ourselves: the artist, the lover, the naturalist, the spiritual seeker, etc. Third, to find the practical, personal lessons embedded in the process. For each of us these lessons will be different. My lessons about taking up space in the world will be meaningless to most, while my brother's lessons about controlling others might make more sense. Your particular lessons may be incredibly creative beyond my wildest imagination. Fourth, to formulate a healthy understanding of the images projected by the media and not accept them as blueprints for a perfect humanity. After all, do we really want to emulate the behavior of all those fictional darlings? Because these images are all-pervasive, they provide an incredibly rich opportunity for spiritual discipline and a fine testing ground for our progress. Feel at home We are accountable in the end for our own lives and how well we treated the bodies that housed us. And we have a right to feel at home in our earthly bodies whatever their shapes. Remember: the body itself responds to our thoughts about it. If we hate it, it responds by destroying itself. If we love it, it responds by growing healthy and strong. Try thinking of the human body as a sculpture created by the human spirit. Imagine that the body you have right now is perfect for expressing what you, the artist, need to express. Do you want to express something else? Imagine what it is and begin sculpting again with loving thoughts. And remember, the key to art is originality. Copying what someone else has done is just not going to work for you. Jinjer Stanton is a spiritual being in a human body. Her goal is to translate her experience in that body into opportunities for others to grow and to find the truth that loosens the knots they came here to unravel. Her workshop: Fear, Fat and Healing takes place Saturday, January 12, and kicks off a bi-weekly exploration of and transformation of the beliefs about ourselves that cripple us and keep us from living fully and joyfully. Call Jinjer at (612) 722-9703 or e-mail her at jinjer@isd.net for details. Copyright © 2001 Jinjer Stanton |
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