Lighten Up! by Kristin Radtke You've undoubtedly heard all kinds of things about how humor will reverse the aging process, heal illness and release endorphins, as well as the general message of "Lighten up!" Yeah, right. I'll be lightening up during an electrical storm. Spare me the platitudes. I've heard the one about God opening windows and closing doors so many times that I'm sure he'll catch cold from a draft. Because being lighthearted is not something you can just Fixodent and forget it. Being lighthearted is a decision that requires awareness. Even before the September 11th attacks took place, I think it's safe to say that modern living just does not support the joyous spirit. Our culture is designed to be a wet blanket...unless we choose to see otherwise and create a life that includes joy. Humor must be sought out and nurtured. It's not my nature to laugh off road-ragers who come to a dead stop in the middle of the highway to flick me off (yes, that actually happened recently). I don't find it knee-slapping when I hear of people having to take jobs they despise just so their families can have the basic necessities of life. And I don't know a single human being who is constantly "up." Well, except for air balloonists. How can humor transform our lives, especially when we need it so much now? Humor has classically been used to diffuse difficult topics or issues...like life. Take mine, for instance. I'm a single woman in the throes of monetary vexations, living with her parents in a town the size of a sticky bun. I drive a peeling Ford Taurus (paid for), have a black belt in the art of finding quality clothing at thrift stores, and a book currently out in the world seeking publication. Certain body parts give me grief, as well as certain aspects of my job. And I'm so successful at deflecting handsome, eligible men with large paychecks and warm personalities that I'm beginning to think it's my calling. In fact, I'm considering opening up a Gifted and Talented program for women just like me. And I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me -- that everyone else has got it all figured out. Advertising campaigns everywhere certainly support this idea. It would be incredibly easy for me to sit down on the proverbial side of the road and refuse to go on. To get stuck on the same loop and forget that there are actually many other ways of framing my experience. To play tinny country music songs, cry in my beer, and generally focus on what's not "right" in my life. Right in whose eyes? On whose terms? I'm still learning this. Slowly. Maybe I need flash cards. When I take a look at what's not working in my life -- my finances, my love life, my employment -- and add some humor, I can see things much more objectively. I can let go more easily. I can see my life as it fits into the broader scheme of things, and realize that life is cyclical, not linear. That I am not a place to get to, but that I am the all-important journey. As a person who has tried for years to maintain positivity at all times, I know how impossible it is to contain that energy at all times. We need a balance of different emotional response to live our human lives to the fullest. The irony is that once I let go of trying to be lighthearted, the easier it was to actually be so. It's one thing to laugh about your life. It's another to let the laughter serve you as an arrow pointing you out of what's not working for you. Kristin Radtke is an artist and author whose first book, Been To Myself and Back, is currently seeking publication. Contact her at dancingqueen55102@yahoo.com. Copyright © 2002 Kristin Radtke |
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