The other day, a friend of mine complimented a blouse I was wearing. I responded with, "Oh, it's so old -- I'm surprised the threads are still holding it." Another friend of mine offered to help with our recent move. Did we need any help? Yes. What did my chattering monkey brain tell me? "No -- we are not very close friends -- I would hate to impose." So I never called her for help with anything regarding the move.

Now...flip the coin and let's take a look at my young children. A friend at church "oohs" and "aahs" over Katie's holiday dress. How does she respond? Her amazing smile radiates and she replies with a simple, "Thank You."

Situation two: Ben is out with my mother and she offers to take him to Dairy Queen. Does he for one minute contemplate the possibility of imposing on his Nana? No way! He knows good stuff is coming his way and he's opened the channels to receive.

When did we begin having troubles receiving? I have made conscious efforts to expand my prosperity consciousness through receiving, but still grapple with parts of it. Do I feel not worthy of embracing compliments and favors? Do I feel as if I am "putting someone out" by welcoming their gifts? I think that's all part of it. I want to know when I began this limited thinking and how I can help prevent my children from developing these habits.

I believe that, in order to remain in the prosperity flow, it is important to practice good giving AND receiving principles. What happens when we give and give and give and then refuse to receive? My belief is that the flow of abundance is inhibited. Giving opens up channels for more good to begin streaming in to fill the spaces. Then we give again...and receive again... etc. That has been my personal experience with prosperity. As adults, we are the primary example for the children in our lives. If we openly demonstrate healthy abundance principles, it is likely the children will follow.

In past years, I struggled with the number of gifts my kids received from others at Christmas and on birthdays. I'm not a fan of collecting more "stuff," but I want my kids to receive well from others. Every year I was frustrated, staring at the pile of mechanical toys, action figures and "tiny parts" toys. I even conveyed to my friends and family that perhaps they should reduce the number of gifts they give. Then last year it hit me...Who am I to block their and my flow of prosperity by deciding what and how much they give? Isn't it much easier and less stressful to just say, "Thank You?" I love to give as well and I can imagine the feeling of being told that, for whatever reason, my gifts were unsuitable. Why would I want to present that to anyone? Quite simply, I wouldn't.

So...the next step is figuring out what to do with the ever-mounting collection of stuff in my children's rooms. Last year we began having quarterly "clean sweeps." If it's summer, this may be a major "clean-sweep" and will result in a garage sale. Otherwise, we go through every room (kid's included) and create boxes for donation. I learned a rule from my friend, prosperity teacher Paula Langguth-Ryan (www.artofabundance.com): Toss out anything that: is not beautiful, is not useful and you do not love. These rules go for kids, too. Raising kids as packrats will not serve them in life. We create a celebration around our "clean-sweeps" and talk about the excitement the kids receiving their donated toys will feel. This ritual not only helps prevent the pack-rat syndrome (I am a recovering "stuff" addict myself), it promotes the principle of giving.

My daughter was invited to a birthday party last year. The invitation indicated to not bring a gift, but instead bring an unwrapped gift for a Toys-for-Tots donation. Katie and I were both excited to choose the gift and the friend did not go home with a pile of toys he probably did not need. What he brought home was memories and a sense of contribution.

Beginning this year, I plan to explore the ways we can celebrate birthdays similarly. My children often donate pet food to the local Humane Society. We are considering having Katie's birthday guests bring gifts for the animals. Someone in one of my past workshops told us that his daughter celebrated her birthday at the local zoo and the guests brought gifts for the zoo animals (from a suggested list from the staff). Whatever the case and the cause, a birthday celebration can be a wonderful opportunity to practice giving and receiving. This is also true for adults.

Last summer we attended a neighbor's 40th birthday party and all guests were to bring a construction-themed gift, to be donated to a local organization. Each year the theme is different, but everyone gets to contribute.

As adults, we can begin teaching our children powerful prosperity principles by first demonstrating them ourselves. Receive compliments graciously and embrace gifts and favors gratefully. If the gift becomes something that is not useful, beautiful or something you love, donate it or pass it to someone who will find it useful, beautiful or will love it. Sitting around looking at something that simply takes up space may block your flow of good -- get rid of it! Again, we can show our kids how to be good givers by creating opportunities to contribute and by doing it ourselves. The flow of abundance is a serene, grateful and loving place to be -- get the whole family into it!

www.enlightenedparenting.com or call (612) 581-7664.

Copyright 2002 Angie Bailey