| Awakening The Feminine Energy by Trent Nelson Feminine and masculine energy has been an interest of mine for years. After growing up in a household where my father was working during most of the day and my mother was at home raising the children and taking care of the home, I figured that masculinity meant working and earning a living and feminine meant caretaking and nurturing the home. As I grew, I noticed friends who had different households, where their father was staying home and the mother was the person in charge of making the money. So my quest to understand the difference between these energies started with early observation and the quest to understand what it meant to be "male." My own misunderstandings and confusion on this topic led me to question what these energies are, what they consist of and how they feel so that I could invite them into my own consciousness and body, hopefully to transform me into those energies, which I'm sure I've only scratched the surface on. So often, when people refer to feminine and masculine energy, it has been mistaken with either the masculine and feminine cultural characteristics that most of us have experienced growing up in America, that men like to work on cars or are more analytical in some way than women and, on the other side, that women are more emotional and like to shop and cook. In different countries, of course, this changes with the culture and history of the people. The problem is that this is stereotyping. I'm sure you know some men who are more emotional and like to shop and certainly there are some women who like to work on cars. Of course, many women are more analytical than emotional. Even in the "New Age" crowd, there are many workshops that explore the "feminine and masculine archetypes," such as the warrior or King or Persephone or Hera, sometimes mistakenly, as an unconscious way to learn about these different energies. Sometimes this is done without suggesting to the participants that when we are healed, we have both energies equally, regardless of what sex we chose for this life. Balanced energies It became my understanding, after studying this topic with a former Tibetan Buddhist monk, that when a sentient being is healthy as a male or female, he or she has an equal, balanced amount of feminine and masculine "energies." Which sex organs we have and the function of these becomes the only real distinction between male and female. Both can experience love, emotion, thought, physical activity and awareness. What is the feminine energy of love and compassion? What does it mean and feel like? And what is the benefit of awakening these energies in either a man or a woman? I certainly don't have the right answer, but in writing this I'm hoping to teach myself something more about it and maybe somehow inspire you also. I always considered myself to be somewhat "feminine" in that I was always sensitive to what was going on around me. As a child, I always seemed to be "feeling" and I would attract friends who called upon my caring nature. At some point, I started to call this feminine, and I found myself afraid to call on assertiveness and inner power, thinking that this was just not a "good" energy. Then I began investigating Babaji and Sai Baba, who are most certainly as sensitive and caring as a being can be, but I wouldn't call them feminine because of their sensitivity. In fact, they are probably two of the strongest energies in male form (if that's what they are at this moment) that exist out there. When I became more accomplishment-driven or started to become physically strong, I figured I was probably being more masculine, except that there were many women accomplishing more than I was and certainly there are women who can lift more weight than me. Again, I was confused about the differing energies. Loving thoughts One thing I'm pretty sure of is that love and compassion, the feminine energies, are different than intellect and emotion. I know many people who hide true feelings of anger and fear, or an attachment to other people, behind a strong emotional body that can look, on the surface, like true unconditional love. Now, emotion is fantastic. It's the dewiness, the fullness, the passion and the honey of life. But on it's negative side, it also is the cause of attachment to others and dependency on being liked or feeling the need to take care of others. Intellect, being so much like a computer, consists of thoughts. Thoughts, being of a fleeting and computer-like nature, are certainly not compassion and love, though one can and hopefully does have or cultivates compassionate and loving thoughts for the world, one's self and others. This can lead to the experience of compassion and love, but the thoughts themselves are not that. Now I feel done being so analytical about it! How about some passion? Call to action As a man writing this article, what is the "call to action" for the energy of love and compassion? Where does it fit in? Can it fit in? Is it something useful at all, functional at all in this society? Or is this the energy of the dreaming youth that was perhaps left behind in college along with all the Carlos Casteneda books, or a young boy's caring nature that was discarded somewhere along the road to adolescence? Somehow in my "evolution," the caring, the compassion and love seemed to become a distant memory. Compassion and love were exchanged for achievement and "strength." In the past, I put a lot of emphasis on achievement. I've inspired many people and completed some great projects that needed a lot of "hard work and elbow grease." I taught many personal growth and healing workshops. I take pride in watching a person's positive transformation much in the same way that others take pride in the building of a house or the finishing of a novel. Though this "achieving" has been a necessary, functional and at many times fulfilling undertaking, it always seemed to be lacking something. It seemed to be an empty striving, born of obligation and a need to prove something instead of some deep and meaningful quest bursting from inside me. So the change I experienced, the change that awakened compassion and love, is what I want to share with you now. Healing journey I remember being on a healing journey to Tibet a couple years ago and having the great opportunity of being allowed into the Potala Palace, the Dalai Lama's home before his exile, in the capital of Llasa. It's not a place many people have the opportunity to see and experience, and believe me, it's worth any effort to get there. Entering the monastery and inhaling the musty learning that's gone on in there for centuries, a person's soul is permeated by learning -- learning that is engulfed by tradition and honor, penetrated by the smell of yak butter candles, clanging bells sounding hundreds of prayers and kept commitments to spirit. Just around the corner from the entrance, I was met by the robed monks with their shaved heads, constant prayer vigils and happiness, grounded happiness for the work that's needed to be done, on a daily basis, with simple and real gratitude. This is where my heart opened. This is where my compassion became real. This is where I found love. It was in the observation of somebody who just happened to be a monk, giving something back to the source, honoring his teacher, his master for no reason other than the giving itself, the honoring itself and allowing the source to give back to him through that same activity. These monks were working, but there was no complaint, no upset or wish to be off somewhere else. If this was obligation, it was delightful obligation that was seen and felt as a gift, a blessing to be chosen, usually as a third child to perform these sacred duties. My heart felt awake and alive. I suddenly understood what all the personal growth work and healing courses had been for, what their purpose was. It was in the FEELING of the activity, the love for the activity where the essence lay. If this was feminine energy, I definitely wanted more. Beauty at the core When I returned home, the nature of my work changed dramatically. Something in me changed. Somehow, the activity had more meaning. When I looked at people, I tried to really "see" them, their life, their beauty, what was at their core. All the defenses were just covert dances hinting at what was inside the person's soul. My heart began to open and, even though I'd been a bodyworker and teacher and knew all of these incredible concepts about health and breathing and happiness, somehow they found a home in me, in my heart. My days became FILLED with activity. The action of the activities were FILLED. I was full. It wasn't just doing any more -- it was being. It was alive and vital and everything was just, full. Work, for a while, became one joyous motion after the other of vivid detail and praise to spirit, to the source of all this. It was in the giving that this feeling would build. Small things, like paying bills and taking care of my house, seemed enormously meaningful. Have you ever felt that? Remember? My work almost became silly in that I found myself getting immense joy out of offering my services to others...and they could feel it. This, in turn, caused my services to become more valuable -- and somehow, I was able to let myself RECEIVE the money. For a while, it seemed to pour in, where before it was an immense effort with just a trickle of income. Receiving became an automatic reflex of an open heart, not having to fight for it, to convince others of my value, just smiling and allowing it. This didn't last forever, but the struggle was replaced by a real sense of adventure and wanting to work, not having to work. Imagine what value your work would have if you were waking up in the morning and had a grin on your face, as though you were winking at spirit, ready to engage the day playfully, instead of bulldogging your way out of bed, another day of "have-to's and hardship. Adventure and the knowledge that all of your needs would be met, regardless of whether you did the "right" activity, is the promise of compassion and love. I tell you, there is value in that. There is value in engaging compassion and love. It fills up the activity, makes it worthwhile and of a spirited nature. Instead of simply doing things out of a sense of obligation, it will become a joy to be in the world doing daily work. My suggestion in beginning to open up this energy is to simply be aware of compassion in your daily life. How do you see people? Are they the cause of your problems? Do you wonder what is wrong with these people, or do you see them as perfection in progress? Begin to notice how you feel in your chest, in your heart center. Begin to see if you can see another person as the child they once were. See if you can honor that part of yourself, the child part with all of his or her insecurities and needs. See if you can acknowledge the spirit of everything, instead of the made self, the ego. See the life behind the life. Begin there and let the truth become a constant and flowing expression. Compassion and love will certainly come knocking on your door. Trent Nelson is a Master Unlimited Body and Unlimited Breath practitioner. Contact him at (612) 308-8813. Copyright © 2003 Trent Nelson |
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