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Principle #6: The Principle
of Conscious Change
Mind Chatter | by Bill Harris
A series of Nine Principles for Conscious Living
Every time I sit down to write an article about one of these principles, I undergo
a few moments of indecision.
Why? Because these principles are, in a way, very enigmatic, in the sense that they
are elegantly simple and, at the same time, densely impenetrable. Until you "get"
each principle, it seems inconceivable, unable to be understood, impractical, unhelpful.
Though each of these principles can be understood and integrated into your life in
an instant, in actual practice it can take years for the real meaning, in a practical
sense, to dawn on you.
Do you remember when you learned to ride a bicycle? You would ride along with your
dad or mom running alongside holding the bike up. Then they would let go, and pretty
soon you would fall over. It seemed hard, and you wondered if you could do it.
Then, mom or dad let go but you didn't know they'd let go, and several seconds later
when you looked back, they were half a block behind you and you were riding, all
by yourself! Hey, this is easy!
I remember thinking that tying my shoes was the most complicated series of motions
ever thought up by anyone, and wondered how my mother could tie my shoe so easily
(while talking on the phone, even!). But once you learn it, it seems so easy.
These principles are the same as riding a bike or tying your shoe. They seem hard,
but once you get it, they are easy -- and because of them, life becomes much easier.
If there is one thing I'm trying to teach in the sharing of these principles with
you, it is that life is easy. If it's hard for you, you're doing something, consciously
or unconsciously, to make it hard.
I see or hear from people every day who experience one drama, one disaster, one stress
after another in their life. Life is mostly bumps and bruises and suffering for them.
From my perspective, it's easy to see how they're creating all of this -- and also
how they can stop creating it.
But for them, it all just seems to be "happening" to them. They don't yet
see that what happens comes from them, from their map of reality, from what they
focus on, from their internal and external strategies for making each moment-by-moment
decision.
In the previous column last month, we discussed personal responsibility. This is
an extremely important principle, because until you take responsibility, until you
realize that what happens (or at the very least your response to what happens) is
coming from you and not from anything outside of you, you can't do anything about
it. Once you take responsibility, though, you can take control and create things
the way you want them.
The next step, once you accept personal responsibility, is to become more conscious.
And here is where I get into my moment of indecision. How do I describe "conscious"
to you? Everyone throws this term around as if they know what it means, but as I
look around, it is not at all apparent to me that they do understand. Being conscious
does not mean being politically correct, following the Dalai Lama, being aware of
injustice, saving the whales, communicating with God or Jesus or spirit guides --
or anything like these things.
Being conscious means not operating as an automatic response mechanism. It means
seeing what is happening, on all levels simultaneously, at every moment, and choosing
an emotional, mental, behavioral and spiritual response based on what is the most
resourceful choice in that moment. Ultimately, it means doing all of this automatically,
without conscious thought (there's a seeming contradiction -- being conscious, but
doing so automatically). You process all possibilities in a split second and respond
in just the right way -- not with a preset response (which is what I mean by being
an automatic response mechanism), but with a choice that is optimum for the situation.
Most people, unfortunately, run on automatic. They have rules or set procedures for
what to think, what to feel, and what to do in various situations -- rules or procedures
they learned when they were too young to know any better -- and these responses happen
automatically, like Pavlov's dog salivating when it hears the bell. Some of these
responses were learned through physical or emotional pain, and deeply imbedded. Others
are just things we accepted as true, because our parents told us they were true over
and over at an age when our parents seemed like infallible gods.
At the very least, many of these rules and procedures serve to help us deal with
our anxiety, or what I often refer to as overwhelm. We feel anxious, so we withdraw,
get angry, have a cigarette, eat, exercise, act silly, have a drink, talk too much,
space out, have sex, tense up, buy something, watch TV, cry...or one of thousands
of other behaviors or feelings. We don't choose to do them because they seemed to
be the most resourceful thing we could do at the time. We just do them, automatically.
Usually they are anything but resourceful. Often, they lead to drama, suffering,
problems, sadness.
A person who has done much of their life unconsciously doesn't know they are feeling,
behaving, responding and living unconsciously, and you may not believe me when I
tell you that this is something you are probably doing, and doing quite a lot, if
not all, of the time. It takes becoming more conscious to realize what you were doing.
When, in The Holosync Solution support materials, we describe the idea of being the
witness, when I say "just watch with curiosity," we're trying to get you
to begin the process of becoming more conscious. I will have much more to say about
this when I get to the principle of witnessing next month.
Here, though, is the big benefit of being more conscious: It is impossible to do
something that isn't good for you, or is in some way non-resourceful (destructive)
to you, and also do it consciously. You can do something destructive to yourself
(feelings, beliefs, values, behaviors, etc.) over and over as long as you do it unconsciously
(without continuous conscious awareness). But once you begin to do the non-resourceful
feeling, behavior, belief, value, etc. consciously, it will begin to fall away. You
just cannot do something that is not good for you and also do it consciously.
The trick, of course, is to remain conscious, which is, as I said earlier, one of
those things, like riding your bike or tying your shoe, that seems really hard until
you get it, and then it seems easy and you wonder why you ever thought it was hard.
For this reason, as you unravel, in your own life, the mystery of what it means to
be conscious, do not let yourself become discouraged. Keep going, keep trying, keep
watching, and at some point you will turn around and no one will be holding the bicycle
up, and you'll be doing it, and it will all make sense.
We have many ways of going unconscious so as not to deal with what we're feeling
or how we're behaving: overeating, alcohol and other drugs, projection and blaming,
spacing out, analyzing, distracting oneself through a thousand and one different
methods, and many, many others. To become conscious, you must:
• Identify your favorite
ways of going unconscious.
• Be vigilant in noticing them.
• Be committed to developing the ability to be the witness to what is happening,
developing that part of you that stands aside and notices what you are doing, feeling,
or thinking, as you do it, watching without judgment or comment, just watching with
curiosity, like a scientist.
This is one of the greatest
benefits of The Holosync Solution program, and one of the most difficult to describe
or quantify: that using Holosync, over time, creates and increases the ability to
remain conscious and deal with things consciously.
Let whatever happens when you listen be okay, and take some time, especially when
you feel an uncomfortable emotion, to just watch yourself have it.
Pretty soon you'll be saying, "Look, Mom! No hands!"
Next month: Principle #7: The Principle of Witnessing
Bill Harris is director of Centerpointe Research Institute. To find out more about
Centerpointe Research Institute, and to receive a free Holosync demo cassette or
CD and Special Report, visit www.centerpointe.com or call 1 (800) 945-2741 or (503)
672-7117.
Copyright © 2003 Bill Harris
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