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The Practice of Faith
by Angie Bailey
Your mind is swimming with sharks of indecision, nothing seems to be going as you
planned, and you've prayed and meditated to the point of wondering if God has decided
to take a little nap just at the moment you need some direction. The testy toddler
in you wants to stomp your feet and scream, "I want it nooooowwww!"
This is just the conversation I have from time to time with my dear San Francisco-dwelling
friend, Gia. She and I went to high school together in Atlanta and she moved to the
West Coast about five years ago. Over the past year, she and her husband have been
weighing the possibilities of moving back to Atlanta or staying in San Francisco.
Heading home meant the closeness of extended family and friends. This felt especially
important since the arrival of their darling Maya, now 2 years old. The cost of living
was also a mega-factor. Truly, how does anyone afford to live in San Francisco? They
wanted to buy a home and eliminate their debt and they constantly felt like hamsters
on an eternal exercise wheel...squeak, squeak, squeaking by.
On the other hand, Northern California was the picture of Eden to them -- the sweet
breath of heaven that the soupy Atlanta heat and humidity simply could not match.
Mountains, ocean and fabulous parks were all within a short drive. Plus, they felt
the consciousness of the area was a closer fit to their own. When we would talk about
this indecision, our constant mantra was, "Stay in the flow -- there is a divine
plan." She believed it, although found herself stuck in the day-to-day aggravations
of limbo, something of which I am all too familiar. She kept looking for signs that
would point her in some sort of direction, but mostly the compass just spun. To top
it off, their desire for another baby was met with disappointment each month. After
a scare with some possibly serious vision problems for Gia, they wholeheartedly set
an intention to move back to Atlanta.
The power of intention is phenomenal. Aided by my friend's endearing obsession with
planning and order, the universe stepped right in, grabbed the compass and aimed
it straight southeast! Their search for homes began immediately and within a week,
they were met with two, beautiful blue lines on the home pregnancy test. As a bonus,
her company is willing to transfer her and her current work to the Atlanta office.
We spoke on the phone the day she discovered the bambino was en route. We were both
elated and it just felt like everything had finally come together. Then, I said something
that struck a chord with both of us and has since altered the way I look at my daily
worries.
I asked her to freeze this moment -- this delicious morsel of pure joy and contentment.
All of the stress and indecision over the past year resulted in this fantastic outcome.
If she had known that this would be the result, would she have spent any time worrying?
Maybe not --at least not so much.
We talked about no matter how much we painfully mull and re-mull over situations,
we are always pleased with the result -- even if the pleasure is little farther down
the road. So...if we can freeze that moment of bliss at the end of the fret, and
then emotionally recall that rush of delight in the midst of the maelstrom, will
that remind us to practice faith? The universe is constantly confirming that everything
will fall into place, yet we feel the need to question it and repeat the cycle of
worrying, analyzing, weighing pros-cons, discussing with half a dozen friends, and
then finally -- realizing the result, which many times looks radically different
from what we imagined.
Another example: Several years ago, my husband John and I were spiritually working
on creating a debt-free life. We prayed and meditated together, we affirmed prosperity,
we journaled and treasure mapped and followed all of the prescribed methods for becoming
free of debt. Our imaginations crafted vignettes of big raises for John, fantastic
career opportunities for me, even lottery winnings. What manifested instead was the
purchase of John's family-owned employer by a large corporation. He was not pleased
and began to dread the months to come. Soon after, he received a call with a job
offer with a 30 percent salary increase -- but it was in St. Croix Falls, Wisc. --
a hefty commute from our home in the west suburbs of the Twin Cities.
After months of craziness in trying to sell our house (200 showings total!), it finally
sold. The same exact day, we found a perfect house in a lovely lake community. And...
with the sale of our house, we were able to pay off our debt. At no single point
in our prosperity visualizations did we believe we were destined to move. During
the frustrating months attempting to maintain a show-worthy house (with two small
children and a vast array of Legos® and Hot Wheels® scattered about at any
given hour), there was not the tiniest glimmer that in time, we'd find the ideal
house. In fact, we found the house we bought the first day it was available. So we
couldn't have sold our house any sooner if we were meant to be here now, happy as
a family of squirrels in our small town nest.
So again, the question is posed: If I had known all of this would work out the way
it did, would I have saved myself the hassle of near-ulcer insanity? Yes, truly I
think I would -- at least the bulk of it.
Maybe we need to go through the process of pain in order to savor the divine sweetness
of the results. Perhaps it's necessary to breathe the air of relief after the storm
to really see that this faith thing really works. I sometimes feel like a child who
just needs a little reassurance that everything will be OK, like the cool washcloth
my mother lovingly held on my forehead when I was sick. What is true for me is that
faith is a practice. In each instance of pain, heartache, indecision and frustration
is an opportunity to breathe, connect with my source and affirm the highest good
and then release it.
Now, thanks to my soul-sister, Gia, I can add the step of recalling a beautiful memory
when fulfillment was brimming with wonder and ecstasy. Faith is my reassurance in
the goodness of life. It's the divine washcloth caressing my forehead, reminding
me that all is well.
Angie Bailey writes and speaks on a variety of life-inspiring topics, as well
as produces and hosts a cable access show in the Chisago Lakes area called "The
Bright Side." She is also the volunteer coordinator at Unity in Golden Valley.
Angie can be reached through her website www.positivelyangie.com or call (612) 581-7664.
Copyright © 2005 Angie Bailey. All Rights Reserved.
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| January 2005 |
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