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Relationships are a
mirror of the individual souls
by Najat Fares Kessler
Relationships are a magnifying mirror that shows where the individuals involved are
standing in their personal growth. What goes on in relationships with others is nothing
more than a projection of what is going on at the individual level deep within: whatever
inside relationship each party has with him or herself is what will be projected
outside in the relationships with others. If someone treats herself with respect
and dignity, she will treat others with the same respect and dignity and will not
take any less from them.
The more hectic a relationship is, the more equally hectic most of the parties involved
are in their own self-struggles. Beyond the notion of right and the wrong, beyond
all forms of human judgments, the hidden reality shows. For instance, let's consider
an abusive relationship. The abuser is supposedly the "bad guy," but it
takes someone willing to be abused to play the part of the "victim." Deeper
in their hearts, they each believe they are "the victim." Both the abuser
and the abused are two faces of the same coin; otherwise, they will not stick together.
It takes one of the parties to change from within to no longer fit in the equation,
and thus comes the split and both parties will be looking for new matches. The new
relationships will not be any different unless the antagonists make some deep changes
within themselves.
Healing relationships does not happen unless some kind of healing happens at the
individual level, for the individuals create relationships -- not the other way around.
Whatever one brings to a relationship, one takes with them when they leave. Relationships
magnify whatever is at the individual level. For example, if it is hard for somone
to show compassion for herself, in relationships the individual with such challenge
will not be compassionate to others, but mostly critical of them.
When someone does not like the outcome of her relationships, she must become vigilant
with herself and try to become aware of her part of creating those outcomes that
she doesn't like. With the awareness of one's flaws comes the empowering opportunity
to make changes at the individual level first.
Once this starts to happen, the aware individual will find it much easier to end
relationships that no longer work for her or she will find her relationship healing,
thus becoming stronger and more fulfilling. This happens because the other parties
involved become inspired. They also take the high road of addressing their part of
the non-desired outcomes, thus no longer suffering nor creating what is not wanted.
Most of us humans want to be good and want to be happy.
The bottom line is: If you want to change your relationships, you must be willing
to change within yourself what creates the outcomes you don't like, before jumping
into blaming your sufferings on others or trying to fix others or make them into
what you would like them to be. Such a behavior is a waste of your time -- and greater
waste of spirit. Relationships are blessings, no matter how easy and happy, or difficult
and miserable. Because of their magnifying nature, they make everything 10 times
bigger so it gets so uncomfortable and forces us humans to make the necessary changes
for our growth.
On the other hand, relationships are magical and bring about powerful miracles when
they are filled with love. Just enter a room filled with a group of people who are
willing to open their hearts to universal love and who are gathered to share a meditation
session. Pay close attention to how you feel before and after such a session. Relationships
can go beyond earthly human conditions and can transcend all dimensions. It only
takes willing humans to explore the magnificent possibilities that relationships
provide.
Najat
Fares Kessler, a native of Casablanca,
Morrocco, traveled throughout Europe in the 1990s, taking many soul-searching trips.
She came to America in 1998, married her husband Jay in Minneapolis and settled in
the North Metro area, where she operates her practice Achieve with Hypnosis. In her
business, Najat helps her clients to achieve their goals by using the power of the
mind over matter using hypnosis, hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique. Najat
is a motivational speaker and she also teaches classes and conducts seminars. Contact
her at (763)
228-2050, fax (763) 862-9083, e-mail nkessler@achievewithhypnosis.com, go on the
web at www.achievewithhypnosis.com/najat-fares-kessler.html
Copyright
© 2005 Najat Fares Kessler. All rights reserved |
| February 2005 |
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